


Law of the Shinobi

by WizardsGirl



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Assassination, BAMF Naruto, Dark Naruto, Dark Themed, Drabble-style, Emotional Manipulation, Forgery, Hokage Sarutobi, Kinda Bad Sensei Kakashi, Many Illegal Things Happening, Multi, Ninjas being Ninja for the most part instead of always-nice people, Or at least Naruto is, Prompts Accepted, Prostitute Naruto, Prostitution, Ramen, Rape/Non-con Elements, Scene Requests Accepted, Sex, Smoker Naruto - Freeform, Sporadic Update Schedule, Spy Networks, Torture, Triggers, Underage - Freeform, Underaged Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:18:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1411309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizardsGirl/pseuds/WizardsGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto had been abandoned in the rain, and taken in by an Angel from the Red Light District, who wasn't much of an Angel but rather an opportunist. The result is a much smarter and darker Naruto, with a rather screwed up version of Right-and-Wrong in his head, and a mercenary streak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Drabble-like! Accepting prompts for different scenes if you'd like them! ^-^

_ **Law of the** **Shinobi** _

_Death is a Shinobi's Constant Companion,_

_Secret's are a Shinobi's Lifeblood,_

_And Trust is a Shinobi's most Prized Possession._

 

**OoOoO**

 

It was raining.

It always was, whenever the Orphanage Caretakers kicked him out for the night. Didn’t want the Demon taking up the space where other, _normal_ orphans could be keeping warm and dry, after all.

One day, he’d show them that he wasn’t a Demon, a Monster. He was Uzumaki Naruto, and one day, he’d be happy and they would be sad.

“Oh my, what have we here?” A woman’s voice said, and Naruto turned, blonde, spiky hair falling into his face, shadowing his bright blue eyes as he observed the beautiful woman standing in front of him. She had long black hair that was pinned back in an elegant bun by two expensive-looking black sticks that were tipped in red jewels. She was dressed in a red-and-yellow kimono that was long, but open at the top, exposing her large bosom and the lacy underclothes that held her breasts, barely. She was holding a decorative umbrella and her dark eyes were looking at Harry from her smooth face, brightly painted lips pursed slightly in thought. Suddenly, her eyes were half-lidded and she was smiling coyly, leaning down towards the five-year-old and offering her soft, pale hand, the nails long and painted red, with tiny yellow flowers painted on.

“How would you like to stay somewhere dry, sweetheart?” She asked, coy smile still in place, and, to Naruto, she looked like an angel sent by Kami himself. Blue eyes wide and startled, he stared at her for a long moment, before hesitantly lifting nervously trembling fingers to cautiously grasp the woman’s long digits.

“I’d like that, Neesan,” he whispered shyly; she smiled a little wider, just a hint of bright, white teeth beyond blood-colored lips as she gently pulled him under her umbrella, and began to lead him away from the orphanage and deeper into the Red Light District.

“My name is Akemi,” she told him airily as they walked. “But you, sweet one, can call me Kaasan.”

 

**OoOoO**

 

Naruto wrinkled his nose as Himiwari-Neesan finished adjusting his bright green overalls, his blue shirt underneath smelling clean and faintly of perfume as the off-duty prostitute fussed about him. It was his first day at the Academy, a whole year earlier than everyone else his age, and she wanted him to be as made-up as possible, despite not being from a Clan or higher Civilian family.

“Don’t pout, Naru-chan,” Sorami-Neesan scolded gently from a few feet away, where she was just getting back from her work, smelling heavily of musk and cigarettes and strangers, carefully washing off her make-up in the only mirror the room had. Naruto immediately shot her a sweet smile, face abruptly a mask of cherubic bliss, and she laughed even as Himiwari-Neesan poked him in the nose with an amused smile.

“A little less teeth, un-squint your eyes a bit,” she advised; he immediately obeyed, and his face gentled into a happy, almost-shy-looking visage. “Much better, Naru-chan,” the prostitute cooed, kissing his whisker-marked cheek affectionately. “We’ll have an actor out of you, yet!”

“Or a Yakuza,” Oki-Neesan remarked dryly from where she lounged naked on the bed, watching the proceedings with faint amusement. Himiwari-Neesan just huffed at her, flicking her hand at the other woman with a dismissive air.

“You ready to go, Naru-chan?” she asked instead; the six-year-old immediately dropped his smiling mask, returning to the calm, slightly-frowning face that could usually be found there when he had to do something he found mildly unpleasant, or when he was thinking.

“I guess,” he admitted reluctantly, and accepted his special Froggy backpack from Sorami-Neesan, kissing her on the cheek, before padding over to do the same to Oki-Neesan, and finally returning to Himiwari-Neesan and taking her hand. The white-haired prostitute smiled down at the sweet boy their boss had adopted, and gently led him down the hall and out the back door, having to pause several times as the other girls (and two men) wished him good day, gave him advise, and offered cheek-kisses for luck. Finally, they were on their way, and Naruto was soon at the Academy, reluctantly letting go of Himiwari-Neesan’s hand as she crouched, turning him to face her, pink eyes affectionate and loving as she absently wiped a smudge of lipstick from his temple.

“Remember,” she said gently, placing her unadorned hands on his small shoulders. “Don’t show too many teeth, when you lie your eyes squint shut, use the proper kanji when spelling your name or everyone will think your name is Fishcake instead of Maelstrom. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, but don’t make a fool of yourself either. If one of the Sensei’s doesn’t teach you like the other kids, Akemi-sama and the rest of us will teach you that subject. Don’t let anyone talk down to you, but put on a good face when dealing with them. If there’s one thing these Shinobi understand, it’s restraint and self-control. Revenge is best thought out, planned with prejudice, and implemented when you have a rock-solid alibi.” She kissed the blond boy on the shoulder and hugged him close. “Make us proud, Otouto,” she murmured, kissing his head again before gently releasing him. “Nishiko will pick you up after Academy, you have a bento in your bag. Now, go on, or you’ll be late,” she shooed him, and Naruto turned, his smiling mask in place, and trotted into the Academy with a few other children, blending in with the brighter colors and pastels of their clothes, disappearing into the crowd. Himiwari sighed happily, before she left, heading back to _The Butterfly Palace_. Her shift didn’t start for another two hours, and she wanted to nap for a bit, if Oki hadn’t stolen the entire bed, that is.

 

**OoOoO**

 

“Try again,” Fuyuki told Naruto, his deep voice patient as the almost-seven-year-old practiced throwing Kunai at a board propped up in the alley behind the _Palace_. The crudely drawn target on it was dotted with splintered holes as the young boy continued to work on his aim, the Genin helping him with what he could remember from his own Academy days, before his Team and Sensei were murdered on mission that had been mislabeled. Instead of joining a new Team, he remained a technical Genin, despite being nearly thirty now, usually doing the higher-paying D-Ranks or substituting on C-Ranks.

“You’re still twisting your body too hard, Naruto-kun,” the older man said, gently readjusting the boy’s grip again. “Remember, smooth and sleek, not rough and rude.” Naruto bit back a frustrated noise.

“Hai, Fuyuki-sempai,” he replied instead, and went back to work.

 

**OoOoO**

 

“Kaasan, why do you and the Neesan’s and the Nissan’s do what you do with all those men and women?” Naruto asked on one of the rare occasions Akemi was with him, the two of them cuddling on a futon, the beautiful woman mostly naked as she dragged her long, decorated fingernails through his sunflower-colored locks. She paused for a minute, and then smiled slyly, curling her arm around the little boy until he was nuzzled right between her impressive breasts.

“Do you know what Shinobi do, Naruto?” she asked gently. “What their purpose is?” The seven-year-old frowned slightly.

“Shinobi protect Konoha from invasion, they take missions to better the Village, and they…gather information on other Villages…?” He trailed off questioningly and Akemi smiled gently.

“Very good,” she crooned, stroking his face as he smiled sweetly up at her, curiosity and trust shining in his pretty blue eyes. “But do you now _how_ they do all that?” Naruto hesitated; forehead crinkling and smiling lips transforming into a pursed pout as he thought.

“…Jutsu?” He asked; Akemi continued to smile and pet him gently even as she shook her head a bit.

“In certain ways, yes,” she told him. “But they also do all that and more, by being _cunning_ and _crafty_ and _ruthless_. They kill to protect this Village and their Mission. They torture and seduce to get the information on other Villages. They are our pet monsters, our soldiers. To be a Shinobi is to be equally loved and vilified in any Village, some lean more towards one side of the spectrum or the other, but it is the same.” Naruto had his eyes locked on hers, hanging on her every word.

“Whores can be the best sort of Shinobi,” she told him, sly smile still curling her lush, red-painted lips. “We can seduce our clients into telling us their darkest secret, we can go into places even Shinobi have difficulty, under the guise of being hired. We can even be brutal assassins, if the price is right.” Gently, she pressed a blood-colored kiss to his forehead, still smiling that secretive smile. “Secrets are everywhere. Everyone has one and, sometimes, the best way to get them is to let a strange man or woman fondle you and fuck you, or you them. It is worth it in the end, little one.” Naruto was wide-eyed with wonder and fascination as she again kissed him. The woman settled down more onto her back, pulling Naruto up to rest between her barred breasts, body laying over her naked stomach and legs straddling her barely-clothed hips. She hummed softly as she stroked a hand down his back, still smiling faintly, eyes closed.

“…Kaasan?” Naruto whispered after several minutes of silence; Akemi hummed to show she heard. “…Will you teach me?” Slowly, she opened her dark eyes and looked down, where Naruto shyly and hopefully peeked up at her from her cleavage; her smile became something dark.

“Of course, Naruto,” she replied, leaning her head back and closing her eyes, smile sharp and satisfied. “After all, it’s what mothers do.”

 

**OoOoO**

 

A poof of smoke, and suddenly a buxom brunet was standing provocatively in front of them, dark blue eyes smoky and half-lidded, plump mouth curved into a come-hither smile. A blue kimono was curling around her curvaceous body, gaping open and showing a large amount of cleavage and stopping only a few inches down her thighs, exposing long, lean legs, smooth and tapering into a pair of small, delicate ankles and feet that were nestled into a pair of blue slippers. A hand slid up her neck, small, thin fingers tipped in dark blue nails as that hand teasingly slipped over her mouth, as if covering her smile coyly.

“Excellent work, Naru-chan!” Himiwari-Neesan praised as she and a handful of other prostitutes looked over the eight-year-olds solid transformation, so much stronger and more potent than the Academy standard Henge, because this literally transformed the user _into_ whatever they were mimicking. Naruto, in the form of what they had been calling “Maiha”, gave a soft chuckle and straightened up, dragging her nimble fingers lightly down her body and licking her lips softly.

“It feels nice,” he murmured in a soft, husky alto; Himiwari smiled gently at him and stroked one of his whisker-less cheeks affectionately.

“It’s perfect,” she told him gently. “Akemi-sama will be pleased,” she added; making dark blue eyes light up with happiness. “Akimitsu and Hama have both agreed to be the two to teach you tonight, Maiha-chan,” the albino continued; and Naruto/Maiha took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, nodding.

“Lead the way, Himiwari-Neesan,” she murmured and the prostitute took her hand and led her to the private room, where the two male prostitutes would teach her everything they could about their profession, in every position and situation they could.

 

**OoOoO**

 

“You Fail!” The instructor shouted, dark glee in his eyes as nine-year-old Naruto failed the Genin Exam; frowning, Naruto slipped out of the room to sit with his classmates. He ignored the jeers graduating students sent him, knowing a majority of them would be right back in the classroom three weeks from now. Unlike _them_ , he was in the know-how, and knew that every Jounin Instructor gave his or her Team a secondary Genin test, to assess their skills in different ways. Team Work, Tracking, Information Gathering, Strategy, and several other topics were spread out, each Team testing in something different in an attempt to get as many decent Shinobi as they could. Sixty-six percent of the graduating class would fail, a depressing number really, but it was normal. Naruto frowned down at his hands as he waited for the bell.

_Why couldn’t he do that damn Bunshin?_

As soon as the bell rang, he was out the door and away from the Academy. When he was absolutely positive he was out of sight, he Transformed into Akina, one of his several different forms, and started leisurely down the road towards _The Palace_. In this form, he was a tall, lanky green-haired woman with a mole on the left corner of her left eye, those eyes a deep copper color. Today, he wore a pale green Kimono with a yellow obi and gold outlines of leaves swirling around the bottom edges. As she walked down the street, she caught many male gazes and flirted through smiles and hungry looks, sashaying seductively towards the Red Light district. Just before she reached it, a man approached, one of her regulars, Kimihiro Kioshi, a middle-aged merchant who had a wife and three children, a gambling problem, and a bit of an exhibition kink. His favorite food was calamari, he hated mornings, his youngest daughter was joining the Academy in two years, and he didn’t have a problem tipping his whores _generously_ if they showed him an extra good time.

“Akina-chan,” he greeted with a leer, gray eyes already locked on her breasts, and Akina let her expression morph into a pleased, hungry smile.

“Kioshi-sama,” she purred, and curled her arm through his when he offered, gently steering him towards an alley and placing her mouth right at his ear, lips teasingly brushing against it. “How may I please you today?” She purred; he groaned and, once they were safely in the alley, twisted around to pin her against the stone, pressing his groin, and his erection, against her own pelvis and _grinding_.

“Right here, right now,” he growled, already panting slightly in excitement. “How much?” She made a show of fluttering her eyes and tipping her head back, lips parting slightly in “pleasure”.

“For you? Three thousand Ryo,” she moaned, and he gave a pleased sound, yanking one of her legs up and around his waist, fumbling for the front of his pants.

“Done,” he panted eagerly; she nodded and, after a few minutes more of fumbling, he was pressing into her and _thrusting_. Akina gasped and moaned and curled her legs around him, curling her fingers into the crevices of the bricks, putting on a bit of a show as Kioshi pounded into her. Unlike a majority of her clients, in her many different forms, Kioshi wasn’t a selfish lover and, by the time he finally came, he had made her come apart three times. After they had both caught their breath, he set her feet back on the ground, and Akina made a point of slipping to her knees and _personally_ cleaning him to show her appreciation. Since that led to more action, when she finally left the alley, Akina had ten thousand ryo in her pocket and a satisfied smirk on her lips. When she reached _The Palace_ , she slipped its entirety into her money-slot, where it would be divided between her, Akemi, and the establishment (as well as a small fee to the local Yakuza for protection).

“Did you pass?” Oki asked nonchalantly as she lounged on a cushion in the Girls Room, where the Neesan’s relaxed and awaited a customer.

“Damn thing was rigged,” Akina told her with a wrinkle of her nose; Oki spat to the side and sneered, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up.

“Figures,” she grunted and blew a smoke ring, passing one to Akina without a pause. The green-haired prostitute huffed in bitter agreement, lighting up her own cigarette and awaiting her next customer.

It was going to be a long night.

 

**OoOoO**

 

Naruto couldn’t help but feel very, _very_ lucky that Akemi-Kaasan had been the one to take him in. Very few shops could turn in away, no matter what form he was wearing. To turn away or overcharge one of Akemi-Kaasan’s girls (or her adopted son) was asking to be Black Listed throughout the Red District until you either made amends or were a member of the Yakuza. This meant no one in any of the brothels would play with you or use your shop, and you wouldn’t be allowed in any of the gambling houses that were allied with them, which meant you’d be stuck with the lower-end ones where you were more likely to get stabbed and cheated than win anything.

As a result, instead of the orange monstrosity that the clothes-shop _would_ have sold the eleven-year-old Naruto, he was able to get himself some dark gray Shinobi pants, a smoky-gray loose-long-sleeved shirt, and a charcoal vest, which contained decent pockets, while the pants had huge pockets as well. He got black Shinobi boots, and a very dark brown bandanna to hide his hair. Bandages pinned the ends of his pant-legs and sleeves down and hid several packets of emergency items (Blood, Chakra, Soldier, and Caffeine Pills, cauterizing powder, wound-stitching string and needles, and a few generalized antidotes to common poisons and Paralyzers). He got decent Kunai, Shurikan, and Senbon, as well as plenty of Tag papers with Chakra-ink and paintbrush. He had a few Storage Scrolls and plenty of ration bars as well, and all for a decent price.

Later, after he did a few shifts as Maiha and Akina and Washi (one of his few male prostitute forms, a small, teenage-looking redhead with large orange eyes and a dusting of freckles, surprisingly popular with the older men and women), he showed off his new Shinobi gear to his adoptive family, getting many compliments and appreciative catcalls. Akemi smiled and kissed his forehead and told him he looked just like a true Shinobi would, and he couldn’t help but swell up with pride before happily stripping off and climbing into the bed he shared with one or more of his Neesans (tonight it was Sorami and Momoko, both of whom were completely naked as well, and who simply curled around him like overly-affectionate squid.).

He had his second Genin Exam in a few days, and didn’t want to fail again.

 

**OoOoO**

It was rare for a customer to request him by name, but still, it occasionally happened.

“Kiko~” Oki called as she sauntered into the Girls Room; the purple-haired, teenage-looking prostitute looked up, gray eyes curious. “You’ve a reservation!” Kiko blinked and then smiled at the man who strolled in arrogantly after Oki, leering at her before turning his dark eyes to Kiko.

“Mizuki-sama!” she greeted the assistant Academy instructor with a shy, sweet smile even as she inwardly sneered. Naruto _hated_ the silver-haired bastard, with his fake-kind smiles and sugary sweet encouragement even as he taught Naruto purposefully wrong Taijutsu and marked off his homework as failures when some of the answers were even better than Sasuke’s or Kiba’s. The Chunin looked up and down her rather childish outfit, made to make her look even younger and more innocent appearing, his leer darkening and edging with a cruelty.

“Come on, Kiko-chan,” he purred, offering a hand and the purple-haired prostitute made a show of blushing and shyly taking it, even though she immediately wanted nothing more than to yank it away and wipe it on something to get rid of the slimy feel it gave her. “Let’s go play a game, hmm?” And Kiko giggled and followed him into a private room, where he immediately yanked her to the bed, bent her over it, and pulled her dress up, exposing her panty-clad bottom. He caressed it and shushed her when she started to ask him what he wanted to play, before he slowly pulled her panties down, and then proceeded to viciously spank her until she was sobbing and whimpering and deeply bruised.

Only then did he pull back, panting heavily as he ripped at his pants until his cock was free, and forcefully slammed it into her small pussy, chuckling breathlessly at her pained scream, and proceeded to brutally fuck her in several different positions for several hours. Later, as he slammed so deep into her throat that she choked repeatedly, he groaned and huskily mocked her with cruel word, telling her how he wished she were one of his students so he could fuck her on the desk, and maybe he would shove Uzumaki’s homework into her cunt and fuck her with it there.

“Maybe I’ll do that after I fail him tomorrow,” he hissed, tightening his hands viciously into her hair, as he slammed harder, listening to her choke gleefully. “Maybe, maybe I’ll do that as I wait for the stupid little shit steals the Scroll for me, before I kill him. Maybe I’ll just have to reserve you for that, hmm, cunt? What do you think of that?” He snarled, before forcing her all the way down to the base of his cock, groaning as she choked and gagged and struggled weakly as he came down her throat, eventually letting her up as he slouched backwards onto the bed, smirking as she choked and coughed, gasping for air as her blotchy face slowly returned to normal coloring. He used her hair to pull her up onto the bed with him, and manhandled her over his body, head pinned to his shoulder as he used his other hand to rub his cock against the crease of her ass slowly.

As he started to get hard once again, Naruto silently vowed to get him killed tomorrow, and use his plan against him to the best of his ability.

 

**OoOoO**

 

“You are the Kyuubi no Yoko!” Mizuki shouted, cackling as Iruka shouted in anger.

“Oh, that?” Naruto asked, making a show of cleaning out an ear boredly with his pinky, ignoring the stunned looks that were shot at him. “I learned that _years_ ago, Mizuki-baka. You’re a bit late…” He blinked, and then looked up, face sliding into a mocking, foxes smile. “By the way, the ANBU have been here the entire time.” As he said this, four black-clad, animal-masked Shinobi appeared, surrounding Mizuki and swiftly capturing him. In a swirl of leaves, the Hokage appeared next to Naruto, countenance severe as the twelve-year-old handed him the scroll without hesitation, foxy smile remaining.

“Well done, Naruto-kun,” the old man said seriously, dark eyes watching as his ANBU took the traitor away to be dealt with by Ibiki. “I think, for collecting such information and assisting the ANBU is capturing a traitor, you should be rewarded. Don’t you agree, Iruka-kun?” He turned a small smile to the gobsmacked Chunin, who sputtered but quickly agreed, face slowly morphing into a proud look as he pulled off his own headband, and kneeling to tie it around Naruto’s head himself.

“I want you to know, that I don’t think of you as the fox,” the Chunin told him seriously. “At first, I hated you, and sure, you’re annoying, you skip classes, you curse too much in class, you make crude comments, and you _smoke_ , but you’re not the fox, and you’re kind to people. I just wanted you to know that, and that I think of you as more of a little brother than a student, okay?” Naruto took a soft, hitching breath, blue eyes made even brighter with tears, before nodding and hesitantly hugging the instructor, careful of his wounds. Iruka smiled and hugged him back, and the Hokage smiled from where he watched proudly nearby.

“Now, let’s go get some ramen, huh? My treat.”

“Dattebayo!”

 

**OoOoO**

 

“Tell me about yourselves,” Kakashi-sensei told them while they sat on the roof.

“Nani?” Sakura asked; Sasuke and Naruto just stared at the Jounin, eyes twitching slightly.

“You know,” the Jounin said simply. “Your likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future, things like that.”

“Why don’t you go first, Sensei,” Sakura suggested. “So we can have an example!” Kakashi hummed, barely even looking up from his smut book.

“My name’s Hatake Kakashi, I like some things and dislike others. My hobbies? …Well, you’re too young to hear about those yet, and I don’t really have dreams.” He smiled at them and Sakura’s eye twitched with her teammates. “Your turn, Pinky!” The girl blinked.

“Er, my name is Haruno Sakura, I like…(giggles and glances at Sasuke). I _hate Naruto!_ ” She snarled and Naruto rolled his eyes and pointedly pulled out his cigarettes, lighting one up just to rile her further, blue eyes amused. “My hobbies are reading and (giggles and once more glances at Sasuke). And my dreams… (another giggle and Sasuke-glance).” Naruto snorted and Kakashi pointed his book at him.

“You’re turn, Smokestack,” he ordered; Naruto sarcastically salutes.

“Uzumaki Naruto, call me either, I don’t care,” he replied easily, and blew a smoke-ring. “I like to smoke but won’t on missions, I like to mess with people, and play the occasional prank. I dislike stalkers, bigots, and generally rude people. My hobbies are collecting secrets, and my dream is to rise through the ranks of Shinobi and perhaps one day become Hokage.” He flicked his ash and arched a brow at Kakashi.

“Baka, how would _you_ collect secrets?” Sakura sneered; Naruto rolled his eyes.

“Are you a Shinobi or not?” He asked bluntly and sneered faintly back at her before the expression disappeared, leaving behind only his usual calm, and placidly smiling mien.

“You next, Broody,” Kakashi announced before a fight could break out.

“Uchiha Sasuke,” the boy responded, face blank. “I like to train. I dislike fangirls and idiots. My hobbies are training. My dream… No, my _ambition_ is to kill a certain man.” The roof was silent as everyone stared at him, Kakashi’s eye twitching, Sakura with the standard “He’s so Cool!” expression, and Naruto looking unamused, eyebrow arched.

“…You _do_ know that ‘dream’ and ‘ambition’ are synonyms, right?” he deadpanned; Kakashi sighed as Sakura began screeching at the blond, who did nothing but stick a finger in his ear and wiggle it with a bored expression while Sasuke just looked irritated and slightly embarrassed.

“Shut up already,” Naruto sighed, giving the pink-haired girl an irritated look. “I don’t know why you’re bitching about anything, since we’re not even a Genin Team yet.”

“BAKA, of course we’re a Team!” she snapped; Naruto snorted.

“Not until we pass Kakashi-sensei’s test,” he told her with a small sneer. “Only thirty-three percent of any graduating class passes their Jounin test to become real Genin. The Academy Graduation Exam is made to show who has potential and who needs to return for another year. It’s a Jounin Sensei’s job to test if we’re ready to be a Team.” Sakura gaped, and then whipped her head up to stare at Kakashi, something Sasuke did as well. The Jounin was eying Naruto with interest.

“Maa, maa, it’s true,” he said, before his eye slid half-shut. “It’s also supposed to be confidential. Tell me, Naruto-chan, how did you find out about it?” Naruto gave a small shrug and smiled sweetly.

“I told you, my hobby is collecting secrets,” he told the Jounin; who stared a few moments longer, before his eye closed in a happy look.

“A good hobby for any Shinobi,” he said easily. “Now, tomorrow morning at, say, eight o’clock, we’ll meet up at Training Ground Seven for the test. Don’t eat anything unless you want to throw it up! Buh-bye~” He chirruped, before he disappeared in a swirl of leaves. Naruto sighed and stood, stretching, before leaving, Sasuke and Sakura ahead of him, with the Pinkette asking the broody Uchiha if he wanted to eat dinner with her.

Naruto’s mind had already turned away from them, however, and instead sifted through all the information he had gained over the years about Hatake Kakashi and his Jounin test…

Maybe a little honey would attract the right flies…


	2. Chapter 2

**_Law of the Shinobi_ **

_Death is a Shinobi’s most faithful companion,_

_Secrets are a Shinobi’s lifeblood,_

_And Trust is a Shinobi’s most precious possession._

 

**OoOoO**

 

Kage Bunshin was the best Jutsu, _ever_. Naruto, in the form of Akina, lounged in the Girl’s Room, sipping a cranberry juice with a shot of vodka, as several of his clones, in his other forms, picked up costumers and gathered information. When a Kage Bunshin popped, he got the information and, as long as they were in his special Transformation, they could only be popped if he willed it or they did it purposefully. Akemi-Kaasan had been extremely pleased, and had spent a few hours showing him _how_ pleased she was, leaving him, even now, pleasantly aching.

Intellectually, Naruto knew what she had done to him, what a majority of the whores had done to him, and what they all had taught him, was _wrong_ , but then again, treating any child like a criminal, like a _disease_ , was _wrong_ and that didn’t stop the Villagers a bit. Sure, what the men and women of _The Butterfly Palace_ did was unethical, but they took care of him, they loved him… Or, at least, made him _feel_ loved. They never hurt him, and never would!

…

Well, unless he asked nicely, of course, but that was a given.

“Akina-Neesan,” Kiko’s voice chirruped as the purple-haired clone bounced into view, tugging at the lace of her schoolgirl outfit with a faint blush and a sweet smile. A middle-aged man with a balding head and heavy stomach walked after her with a leer on his face, green-gray eyes hungry and eager. “Fujitaka-Sama wants me to play with you, can you play?” Akina smirked and gracefully slid to her full height using a finger to lift the tiny prostitute’s chin.

“I’m always willing to play with _you_ , Kiko-chan,” she purred, before pulling her clone into a thorough, _filthy_ kiss, swallowing the smaller girl’s moan and listening to their client groan and smack his lips grossly. It was weird, being able to have sex with himself, but what the customer wanted, the customer got…

For the right price, of course.

 

**OoOoO**

 

“YOU’RE LATE!” Sakura shouted at him as Naruto made his tired way to Training Ground Seven, two hours later than when he was supposed to be, with a still slightly-sore ass and a full stomach. He grimaced at her and made a point of cleaning out one of his ears.

“Man, you sure can screech, can’t you?” He asked, less tactful than he usually was thanks to little sleep from a busy night at _The Palace_ pulling a double shift with some of his Clones. His last customer had been barely an hour before, and had wanted a little boy to call him Daddy while he fucked him in every position he could think of.

“BAKA!” She screeched, and, irritated and tired, he spiked his Chakra at her in a mild case of Killing Intent, only enough to make her choke on her own spit slightly as he glared.

“Shut. Up,” He ground out through gritted teeth, rubbing his forehead. “I had to work a double-shift last night because some of the other workers had to go on a contract job,” he growled, using the Red Light Code for having to go entertain the Yakuza. “I only got off work an hour ago, and I’m running on two hours of sleep. I have a migraine as big as the Hokage Mountain, and you imitating a fucking _banshee_ isn’t helping it at all!” He snapped; he teammates stared at him, surprised. In the time they’ve known him, Naruto has been sarcastic, crude, and downright indecent, but never _angry_ and rarely tactless. Naruto searched his pockets for a few minutes, and then groaned in frustrated dismay.

“ _And_ I forgot my cigarettes!” he moaned, dreading the upcoming test. “Fuck my life.” Silence reigned for a few minutes after that as Naruto sulked, Sakura watched him warily, and Sasuke brooded.

“…What do you think the test will be?” Sakura finally ventured cautiously.

“Hn,” was all Sasuke vocalized, and Naruto snorted.

“Bell Test,” he told them simply, gaining their attention. “According to various sources, Hatake Kakashi is damn well obsessed with the concept of Teamwork. The Bell Test is almost like survival training, the three of us against him. He’ll have two bells, and whoever gets the bells passes.”

“But…!” Sakura started to interrupt, looking panicked, and Sasuke’s face was tense; Naruto just waved a hand dismissively.

“I told you, it’s a Teamwork exercise. As long as we help each other, than the outcome will be that we pass the test. Now!” He clapped his hands and turned to face the other two, sitting on the ground cross-legged. “How about a plan, hmm?”

 

**OoOoO**

 

“BEGIN!” Kakashi ordered; immediately, Sakura and Sasuke disappeared into the trees, while Naruto stood in front of him, watching him with sharp blue eyes. Kakashi reached into his pocket and pulled out his book, opening it to hide the slight disappointment he had that his Sensei’s son wasn’t living up to his expectations. After a few moments, during which he flared his Chakra slightly in order to keep tabs on his other students, Naruto’s Chakra only flickered momentarily, something Kakashi passed off as the boy testing his own power. A soft, husky chuckle interrupted the Jounin just before the scene where Momose-chan finally surrendered to the dashing Shinobi, Renjirou, and Kakashi looked up, ready to mock his blond student for being so stupid…

Only to completely freeze at the sight before him, book sliding down in his hand until it was just barely on the tip of his fingers, mask becoming steadily damper as his visible eye went huge.

There, in front of him, where Naruto had been just seconds before, was a large-breasted, barely-clothed brunet, twirling her tongue expertly around a sucker as she lounged on the ground, slowly, teasingly trailing her fingers down her navel towards her bared, lacy panties, dark blue eyes smoky and half-lidded, sliding to him. She blinked, tongue pausing mid-caress, fingertips brushing the very edge of her panties.

“Oh,” she murmured in a throaty alto. “Are you ready to join me now, ‘Kashi-kun?” She purred his name, and slowly slipped her fingers under the lace underwear, head slowly falling back as she sighed as Kakashi stared…

The force of his nosebleed sent the perverted Jounin slamming headfirst into a tree, giving the two previously ignored Genin just enough time to jump him, grab the bells, and Kawarimi out of his reach, reappearing next to Naruto, who was instantly back in his natural form, sitting cross-legged on the ground with a fox-like grin.

“Never underestimate the power of a sexually confident woman,” he told his teammates smugly, smirking at the faint blush on Sasuke’s cheeks, and at Sakura’s horrified flush.

“ _Never_ do that again!” She hissed at him; he lifted an eyebrow at her.

“Sorry, can’t promise that,” he told her cheerfully. “After all, that technique just took out our Jounin Sensei, what do you think it would do to an enemy if I wanted to use it as a distraction so one of my comrades or clones could get a kill-shot?” Sakura hissed, frustrated, but was stopped from continued scolding by Kakashi slowly rising from the ground, rubbing his flattened hair until it stood back up again.

“…You Pass,” he told them, voice still dazed and two fingers moving up to pinch his nose through his mask. “Meet here tomorrow morning,” he ordered, before disappearing in a swirl of leaves. The three of them stood there, gobsmacked for a few moments, before Naruto summed it up for them.

“Well. That was anticlimactic…”

 

**OoOoO**

 

“Naruto lives _here_?!” Sakura squawked, gapping in horror at the brothel standing before them. Kakashi was looking mildly surprised as well, and Sasuke was blushing faintly, yanking his eyes away from several half-naked woman who winked at them as they passed, Kakashi finally leading them into the Greeting Room. And albino woman dressed in soft pastel pinks and purple was at the desk, breasts nearly uncovered and showing quite a bot of flexibility as she deftly curled her leg onto the desk and painted her toes a bright, rose red. She blinked her pink eyes at them curiously, a sly smile curling her lips as she looked at them.

“Let me guess,” she said instead of greeting them, pointing her nailbrush at them like a weapon. “You’re here for Naru-chan.”

“Yep!” Kakashi replied cheerfully, eye locked on her perky breasts and visible cleavage. She nodded with a smile and then reached to her side, pulling a small rope.

“Chisaki will be here momentarily to lead you to a private room to meet him,” she told them, before going back to her nails. After a few moments, a tall, lithe redheaded woman stalked out, animalistic yellow eyes staring out of a sharp, exotic face as she slunk towards them, tight, gold colored leather curling about her and covering the bare minimum, tiny gold chains tinkling along her hips as she moved gracefully, barefoot and utterly confident as she smirked at them, yellow eyes gleaming.

“Here for Naru-chan?” She asked in a surprisingly high voice, made that way by a distinct, Suna accent; Kakashi nodded even as he pushed his stunned Genin towards the wildly exotic woman as she promptly turned and prowled away. Sasuke was blushing slightly, trying to both keep his eyes away from certain areas, and trying to memorize every inch of the feline-esque woman in front of him. Sakura was struggling with an even mixture of admiration, mortification, and jealously, eyes constantly darting between the undoubtedly gorgeous woman and Sasuke, self-consciously lifting a hand to tug at her bright pink locks.

“Wait here,” she told them, opening one of the many private rooms and gesturing them in. “He’ll be done in a few minutes, and then he’ll be able to come in. Sorry if he was late for something,” she told them with an utterly unapologetic look. “We’ve been a bit short-handed lately, since the Yakuza is having a birthday, a wedding, and a get-together this week and several girls and boys have been reserved beforehand.” She paused before she left, and sent them a hungry, predatory look while her lips curled into a sly smile. “Next time you’re here, though, and you want some fun while waiting, call me up, hmm?” She winked; smile broadening as Sakura and Sasuke both promptly blushed, to their Sensei’s amusement. “Any friend of Naru-chan gets one freebie and a lifetime discount until they lose his favor.” She blew them a kiss and a wink and left them to wait.

 

**OoOoO**

 

It was thirty minutes later that Naruto rushed in, looking frazzled and pulling a leather vest off as he moved.

“Whatever it is, make it quick, please,” he told them even as he dropped the transformation that made his spiky hair blue and hid his whisker-marks. “I’m on my lunch-break and haven’t eaten anything yet today.” With a faint limp, he slipped around the room in nothing but tight leather shorts and a matching leather collar, grabbing a sandwich and a bottle of water from the mini-fridge hidden in one corner of the room.

“You work here?!” Sakura squeaked, eyes huge and cheeks bright red as she tried not to look at the sturdily muscular body of her teammate, who grunted around a mouthful of sandwich from where he was sitting on a stool.

“Work here, live here, both and more,” he replied, gulping down some water. “Listen, I know today was a training day, which means Lots of Taijutsu for Sasuke, cheering from Sakura, and nap time for me, so can we cut to the chase?” He asked, looking stressed and wild-eyed from an obvious lack of sleep and too much caffeine. “I have two more customers before desk-duty, and then I get two hours to recuperate before I’m on street-time.”

“But you’re underage!” Sakura stuttered; Naruto gave her a disbelieving look.

“All Genin are considered adults in the eye of the law, even though those with parents are still under their parents rule, and orphans like me technically have our Jounin Sensei as a guardian,” he informed them bluntly. “Old enough to kill, old enough to drink, old enough to fuck. Also!” He flared his Chakra a bit, and, suddenly, a scantily-clad Maiha appeared, looking the exact same as two weeks previously when he used the transformation to help beat Kakashi in the Bell Test. “This is a personal Jutsu, an upgrade to the Academy-taught Henge, because unlike that one, this one is a true Transformation, getting hit or zapped won’t dispel it, and neither will a well-placed Kai.” Maiha gave them an expectant look, before shaking her head.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be at the Training Grounds tomorrow for Missions,” she told them before gulping the last of her water and waving at them as she headed towards the door. “Just go on and head out without me, Sensei, Sakura, Sasuke! I’ll see you all tomorrow!” And, with that, she disappeared down the hallway, leaving a still gobsmacked trio behind her.

“…I wonder if the Hokage knows?” Kakashi wondered, before giving a small, perverted giggle as it suddenly hit him that his student was getting laid, right then, as both a girl and a guy.

He mentally wrote himself a reminded to send _that_ to Jiriaya-Sama as a suggestion for the next _Ichi Ichi_ book.

 

**OoOoO**

 

“A C-Rank?” Naruto asked, surprised, as the Hokage smiled faintly at the three Genin and Kakashi.

“Yes, I think you’re ready,” he told them with a decisive nod. “It’s a relatively simple task, just very long, meaning it should be between two-to-four months before you’ll be back.”

“What is it, Jiji?” Naruto asked curiously, ignoring Sakura’s scandalized inhale as the Hokage chuckled.

“You are to escort Tazuna the Bridge-Builder to Wave Country, guard him while he completes his latest bridge, and then return. Up for it?” He asked with a fond smile as the three of them nodded eagerly, excited to do something better than a lousy D-Rank, even Sasuke smiling faintly as Kakashi accepted the mission scroll.

“SEND HIM IN!” The old man called; after a few moments, an old man smelling strongly of alcohol appeared, leaning on the door frame, spiky beard and hair gray and dressed in well-worn traveling clothes.

“ _These_ are the Shinobi I hired?” He slurred, sounding slightly insulted and dismayed. “A Cyclops, a pink haired little girl, a broody brat with duck-ass hair, and a midget with whiskers. _That’s_ sure gonna scare of any bandits,” he snorted, taking a swig from his saki bottle. Before anyone could say anything, however, Naruto stepped forward and performed a perfect bow of respect, not even hesitating.

“Tazuna-san, we are honored to have been chosen as your escort to Wave Country,” he announced in a solemn, respectful way. “As Shinobi of Konoha, we will guard your life and complete this mission, even if we have to forfeit our own. That is a promise from a Konoha Shinobi, and so it will be kept,” he said firmly, and managed to hold back the ‘Dattebayo’ that wanted to follow. Everyone gaped at him, as he remained in his bow, before Sakura, then Kakashi, and reluctantly after that, Sasuke, bowed to the old man.

“Hai,” they agreed firmly; Tazuna stared at them, stunned, before taking a deep breath, thinning his lips in determination, and nodding sharply.

“Well, we leave tomorrow morning, so be ready at the Gate by about eight,” he ordered them, and then bowed awkwardly to the Hokage, before swaying away. Naruto and his Team immediately straightened; Naruto blinked at the disbelieving looks he was getting.

“What?” He asked, insulted. “I’m always polite to my customers. As long as I’m getting paid, I’ll treat you like you’re the Daimyo if I want. Gets me nice tips,” he announced smugly; everyone in the room suddenly regretted their obvious reactions at the mental pictures _that_ conjured.

 

**OoOoO**

 

When the Demon Brothers attacked, Naruto reacted immediately, and with lethal force. His hands shot up, a Kunai flying from one hand, a Shurikan from the other, even as he lunged to the side in order to dodge an attack. The Kunai and Shurikan were swiftly blocked, but the Senbon hidden in their shadow hit their marks, taking out one of the brothers arms and hitting the other in the ankle, which gave Sasuke enough time to wrap that one in razor wire, pinned to the tree by Kunai. The other brother, one arm useless, lunged at Naruto with a snarl, only to be knocked unconscious as Kakashi, _not_ laying in bloody pieces a little ways away, lashed out from the trees and kicked him in the back of the head. Quickly, he was tied up the same way as his brother.

“What are we going to do with them?” Sakura asked, pale and nervous from where she had been guarding the terrified Tazuna. Naruto gave her a blank look.

“Get information, of course,” he said simply, and then took the conscious brother and dragged him into the trees with Kakashi, leaving three Kage Bunshin behind to help guard and one extra to help Sasuke with a nasty cut he’d gotten when the wire had been pulled tight too suddenly, sewing it up neatly with one of the needles and some thread from his bandages.

After a few minutes of general silence, a high scream pierced the air, followed by another, and another. More rose and fell, cries and screams and shrieks of pain, until they abruptly fell silent. After a few minutes, Naruto reappeared, bloody and darkly satisfied, nodding to his pale teammates, before picking up the unconscious enemy Shinobi and carrying him back into the trees, where the process was repeated for twenty minutes.

When a blood-spattered Kakashi and Naruto returned, Tazuna spilled his guts without more than a glare from the silver-haired Jounin as encouragement.

 

**OoOoO**

 

Naruto knew better. He _knew_ better! Falling into a dead-sleep in the middle of an unknown place when there were enemies around. Stupid! Stupid, stupid, _STUPID!_ Was it any surprise that the enemy’s Crossdressing assistant had snuck up n him?

“My name’s Haku,” the older boy told him; Naruto nodded with a well-practiced, shy smile.

“I’m Naruto,” he replied softly. “What are you doing out here, Haku-chan?” The effeminate boy smiled kindly.

“I’m collecting herbs to help a sick friend,” he told the blond; Naruto bobbed his head. “What are _you_ doing out here, Naruto-kun?” Naruto shrugged and gave a sheepish grin.

“I trained too hard and fell asleep,” he admitted, looking down and twiddling with the end of his vest shyly. “Can, can I help you gather herbs?” Haku smiled gently.

“Of course,” he agreed, and then led the blond over to the side of the clearing, where a bunch of plants were. They spent an hour together, Haku pointing out and showing what kinds of herbs he was looking for and explaining what they did, and Naruto learning something new and helping out, gathering information along with every few plants.

“Naruto?” Haku questioned softly as he was getting ready to leave. “Where does your strength come from?” Naruto shot him an honestly confused glances. “I mean, why are you strong? What makes you strong? Why do you train?” Naruto paused and sat back, frowning quietly at his hands as he thought about that.

“I guess…” He frowned a little harder and tilted his head. “I guess I get my strength from my precious ones. My adoptive family, my Team, my friends who are few-and-far-between, they’re precious to me, and helping them, protecting them, doing everything in my power to make their lives better… It’s what gives me the courage and strength and stubborn determination to continue on, to fight, to get stronger. I will and _have_ tortured to protect them,” he said quietly, lifting hard, unforgiving blue eyes to lock onto Haku’s silent, understanding ones.

“And I will be their monster, their weapon, their pet killer, as long as it is for the betterment of my Precious People,” he said, shy sweetness gone and replaced by his true self, the hard, jaded, unforgiving, and possessive monster he had grown to be. And, in that moment, a kinship was formed, two tools recognizing one another and silently promising to do their utmost to meet the goals of their Precious People, even if it meant having to kill the other.

And they parted ways with that silent vow, neither of them saying more than “see you later”. No lies were offered, no promises of friendship after this. Just a simple, quiet understanding between them.

**OoOoO**


	3. Chapter 3

**Law of the Shinobi**

_Death is a Shinobi’s most faithful companion,_

_Secrets are a Shinobi’s lifeblood,_

_And Trust is a Shinobi’s most precious possession._

 

**OoOoO**

Gato leered at the gorgeous, green-haired whore who was watching him with eager, copper eyes from where she was kneeling on the neat, gold-toned mat she and her fellow whores had arrived with. “Gifts from Tatsuyoshi-dono of the Most Honorable Seiki Family” the beautiful whore had informed him demurely, even as her hungry eyes watched him from under long, curled lashes, a flicker of a pink tongue darting across her lips.

“Leave us,” he ordered the leering samurai guard at the door, who had his eyes locked on the green-haired whore. “And make sure we're not disturbed,” he added; the samurai's leer widened even as he pushed away from the door and left.

“Have fun, Boss!” he called; the sound of knowing laughter echoed out of the other room before the door to the sound-proofed office closed, and Gato turned to leer at the whore.

“Get over here, bitch,” he ordered; she rose to her feet and sashayed quickly over to him, dropping her pale gold kimono to the ground and exposing her gloriously naked body as she did so, making Gato's leer widen eagerly. In one swift movement, the whore had straddled the short tyrant in his throne-like office chair, and slowly ground down against the erection he was sorting in his dress pants.

“That's it, bitch,” he groaned, hands lifting to grab harshly onto her glorious breasts, mouth latching onto a nipple to bite at sharply, making the whore gasp and moan before she reached down between their bodies and undid his pants. There was a strange, soft, popping sound behind her that caught Gato's attention for barely half-a-second, before the whore was lowering herself onto his erection with a soft cry, and proceeded to ride him while he cursed and bit her breast, hands falling to grip onto her hips bruisingly tight.

He didn't notice the second presence in the room; too busy chasing his pleasure to care. When he came, the whore did as well, and arched her long, beautiful body back, mouth open and wet as she cried out, and he barely caught a glimpse of blond hair and the gleam of metal before his brain was pierced by the sharp blade of the simple hunting knife, and he died with a choked twitch, making the whore give a shudder at the feeling.

“While it was too good a death for the likes of you,” Naruto informed the corpse easily as he removed the knife from the ex-tyrant's forehead and wiped it on the man's suit as Akina slid from his body with a stretch ad a smirk, “dying in pleasure was the quickest way to get in. Good job, Akina,” he informed the other clone, who saluted him lazily and returned to her kimono, the gold mat suspiciously gone.

You have the sealing scroll?” she asked; he nodded, and promptly sealed the corpse away, before any blood or other body fluids could soak into anything. With a flare of hand-signs, Naruto transformed into Gato, mussed and satisfied, and leered at Akina as he sat behind the desk and lit up one of the real Gato's fat cigars, missing his cigarettes badly.

“I think I'm going to retire early,” 'Gato' informed the Greenette, who perched her naked ass on his desk, kimono barely on at all, and crossed her bared legs primly, smirking back at him.

“I think splitting your fortune would be the best way to go,” she commented, and handed 'Gato' a folder filled with already-complete forms, so he could memorize the writing style and signature.

“An excellent idea, my dear,” he purred, and got to work in the delicate art of forgery.

Later that day, Konoha and the Land of Wave both received thirty-percent of the entirety of Gato's wealth. Ten percent of what was left went into the pockets of Momochi Zabuza and hi Apprentice, which was early three times as much as they'd been offered, with a note to Haku saying _Tools work best when paired with other Tools_ , and a suggestion of stopping by in Konoha sometime when the two decided to settle down for a stretch. Five percent of the remaining twenty went straight to Tazuna and his family, and three percent of the remaining fifteen went into commissioning a statue to honor little Inari's hero.

And the last twelve percent went, of course, to _The Butterfly Palace_ , as an early birthday present for his Kaasan.

 

**OoOoO**

The Hokage looked at the pile of sealing scrolls on his desk with a small frown. Naruto sat in the chair on the other side, sharpening a kunai under the sharp eyes of the ANBU hiding in the shadows of the office. Inside of one of the scrolls, was the body of Gato. In the rest, were various other members of his thugs... The ones with bounties, at least.

“Naruto-kun,” the Hokage started slowly. “How did you get these?” Naruto slipped his kunai away and blinked at him.

“I killed them during the last mission,” he said simply, and blinked at the flash of alarm that crossed the Hokages face.

“Will you explain how?” He asked; Naruto nodded.

“Seduction and infiltration,” he replied, and then explained how he had infiltrated the organization with multiple Kage Bunshin solidly transformed into prostitutes, under the guise of gifts from the local Yakuza family. He then proceeded to use said Kage Bunshin to seduce the higher members of the organization, distracted them, and killed them, before making another Bunshin to transform and take their places, while keeping the corpses to collect their bounties.

“And Kakashi _let_ you do this?” The Hokage asked, dark eyes promising retribution; Naruto gave him a bizarre look.

“Jiji, Kakashi-sensei wanted us to do _Tree Climbing_ until he healed enough to fight Zabuza on his own,” Naruto deadpanned, eyes narrowed. “He's also rather obsessed with getting us to work together which, frankly, is next to impossible, with his apathy towards mine and Sakura's training and his obsession with Sasuke's. Sakura is an obsessed, book-smart fangirl, Sasuke is a mildly talented Avenger, and I'm a Red Light District trained prostitute.” The Hokage seemed to age at that last bit.

“Training times have literally become Sakura cheering for Sasuke or practicing her make-up skills, Sasuke training with Kakashi and mocking us, and me leaving a Kage Bunshin behind while I work a few hours at the whorehouse.” Naruto dragged a hand through his hair, scowling. “Kakashi-sensei is a good ninja, I _get_ that, Jiji, but the fact of the matter is he's so obsessed with his dead teammate's last living relative that he's willing to overlook his other students. The pressure on Sasuke isn't going to change his mind about anything, ignoring Sakura isn't going to keep her from getting killed next time a mission is miss-labeled, and, if this is what the Shinobi Corps is limited too, I _will_ quit and disappear into the District, where I earn more money and better treatment! It's ridiculous, Jiji,” he huffed, ruffling his hair again with a scowl.

“It is,” Sarutobi admitted, frowning heavily at his desk, pulling his pipe from his robes and lighting the cup. Naruto immediately pulled out a cigarette and lit up, arching an eyebrow at the frown he earned. They sat in silence for several minutes, before the Hokage let out a long, low sigh of smoke, and nodded at Naruto.

“The bounties will be claimed and you will receive the full fifteen percent a Genin Team usually splits,” the Hokage informed him calmly. “Twenty percent will be given to your... Home,” he grimaced slightly in disapproval, but didn't comment further about _The Palace_. “The rest will be distributed into the Shinobi Corps budget like usual. I'll keep an eye on Kakashi from now on, and if his training style doesn't change by the Chunin Exams, I will personally remove you all from his command and see to it that you are properly trained.” Naruto blinked at that, before bobbing his head with a faint smile.

“Hai, Jiji. Thank you,” he stood and bowed, turning towards the door to leave, before pausing and turning around to eye the Hokage and his paper-covered desk consideringly.

“...Jiji,” he began slowly, “...Did you know, that anything your Kage Bunshin knows, _you_ know?” The Hokage's brows furrowed, and he nodded his head. Naruto gave him a deadpan look, before sighing. “Kage Bunshin, Jiji. _You know what they know_.” He stared at the old man, before realization slowly dawned and he dropped his pipe, mouth gaping slightly. Naruto smiled faintly. “See ya, Jiji!” he called over his shoulder as he slipped out the door, closing it behind him just in time to hear the Hokages long stream of cursing and hysterical laughing.

Later, when he received his pay from the bounties, he found an extra five-percent, for _Services Rendered to the Hokage_ , and his average Genin pay nearly doubled.

 

**OoOoO**

“Ayumu-kun,” Chinatsu Chouko purred as she dragged her perfectly manicured nails down the male’s well-defined chest, earning a light shiver and a sharp grin.

“Chouko-chan,” he purred back, and allowed himself to be dragged into the nearest empty room, flicking on the little light outside the door to let others know the room was in use. The tall, tan prostitute soon found himself shoved to the ground, his leather clothing ripped from him as the off-duty Chunin began to use him for her pleasure, not that he was complaining. Chouko paid well and visited often, preferring Ayumu’s dark hair, tanned body, and large hands, which were pieced with abnormally sharp canines and dark hazel eyes.

Chouko rode him twice in the next several hours, and let him pin her against the floor, and then the wall, before the two of them collapsed onto the floor. After about twenty minutes, Chouko stretched, got up with a wink, and got dressed before leaving him. Ayumu sighed and closed his eyes, before he made a clone of himself and had it pop, so that the original Naruto and other clones would know and make sure that the proper amount of pay had been given at the desk, and that it was received. It was a system they had created once they figured out how easy it was to cheat them out of money, and how difficult multiple prostitute personas were to keep track of. So, whichever Naruto was working in the office (a surprisingly comfortable thing that used to be a storage closet before the big Gato paycheck had allowed Akemi-Kaasan to buy the large building next door and pay to have both buildings connected and cleaned up) would write down all the personas monetary gains and make sure that they were paid.

Not that all of Naruto’s clones were prostitutes, anymore. Since the Wave Mission, he’d spread out a bit, gaining low-level jobs around town, having semi-permanent clones with backgrounds and lives and everything. It was a rather nice little spy ring, and sometimes he was able to hand slip some information to the Hokage and get paid in ramen or money or advice on what to study…

He wouldn’t have minded some actual Jutsu, but knew that the Hokage couldn’t been seen as showing favoritism, and it was bad enough that he was on friendly terms with Naruto, and allowed the Genin to call him “Jiji”.

Ayumu sighed and got up, grabbing his tattered clothes before rolling his eyes and dispelling them, before making his way to the shower provided in each room for clean-up. He’d just transform himself some after he’d washed away the sweat, semen, juices, and the bit of blood that the Chunin had dragged from his back with her nails. Then it was back to work.

 

**OoOoO**

“Chunin Exams?” Naruto asked their Sensei dubiously; the silver-haired Cyclops eye-smiled at them.

“Yep!”

“And you think we’re ready?” the blond asked disbelievingly.

“Yep!”

“Is this a joke?” the blond demanded.

“Nope!” Kakashi wiggled his fingers at them. “Show up at the Academy by the deadline, or you’ll have to wait for half a year! Bye~!” And, with a swirl of leaves, he was gone, leaving Team Seven behind.

“Hn,” was Sasuke’s opinion.

“Che,” Naruto replied, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up, hands going behind his head.

“…” Sakura stared at the form in her hand uncertainly.

“You in, Uchiha?” Naruto asked, squinting his eyes shut as he peered towards the sunset.

“Hn,” Sasuke replied in an agreeing tone, folding the form and slipping it into his pocket. “You, Dobe?”

“’Course,” Naruto replied with a snort, blowing a smoke ring and glancing at Sakura from the corner of his eye. “You, Sakura?” She looked up, startled, and hesitated under the two’s looks.

“I… Um…” She bit her lip uncertainly, and Naruto blew another smoke ring.

“If you want to wait a little while, I don’t mind,” Naruto informed her simply. “I only suggest that, if you decide to go through with us, you study up on Genjutsu of Iryojutsu. You’ve got the Chakra Control for it. And, let’s face it, we’re going to need every trick we can get, if we’re going through with this…” Sakura hesitated, before determination lit her green eyes and she nodded firmly, folding the form and putting it into her pocket.

“Right,” she agreed, before the three went their separate ways. Naruto finished his cigarette, hands still behind his head as he walked, and frowning thoughtfully, before a sudden, foxy grin overcame his face, cigarette butt falling to the ground for his foot to crush.

_I wander was secrets I can ferret out?_

Whistling easily, Naruto slipped into the crowd, and disappeared from view.


End file.
